Pleasure Is Power: Why Women’s Month Is About More Than Flowers

The Power in Pleasure

Every August, South Africa honours the strength, resilience, and achievements of women. But between the flowers, brunches, and social media posts, there’s a deeper conversation we need to have, one that celebrates pleasure as a radical act of empowerment.

For too long, women’s pleasure has been wrapped in taboo, shame, or dismissed entirely. But reclaiming your sensual self isn’t selfish, it’s powerful. It’s liberating. And it’s vital to your overall wellness.

At Dear Desire, we believe pleasure is power and Women’s Month is the perfect time to honour that truth.

Why Reclaiming Pleasure Matters

We’re taught to hustle, to care for others, to be everything to everyone. But when it comes to our own joy, especially sexual joy, we’re often taught to stay quiet.

Pleasure has been historically tied to performance and service, rather than self-connection and healing. But here’s the truth: your pleasure belongs to you, not your partner, not your past, not society’s expectations.

As sex educator and author Emily Nagoski writes in Come As You Are:

“Pleasure is the measure. If it feels good, you're doing it right.”

This mindset shift isn’t just empowering, it’s necessary. Because when women claim their pleasure, they claim their voice, their confidence, their wellbeing.

Breaking the Taboo: Talking About Sex, Pleasure & Toys

Despite progress in the wellness space, conversations around female pleasure still make many people uncomfortable. It’s why sex toy shops hide behind euphemisms, and why many women whisper when asking questions about vibrators.

But silence breeds shame. And shame keeps us disconnected from our bodies.

The truth is, sexual wellness is health care and talking openly about toys, desires, and self-pleasure is an act of resistance. It dismantles the narrative that women’s pleasure is something shameful or indulgent.

According to Dr. Jess O’Reilly, a leading sexologist:

“There’s nothing wrong with you. You just haven’t been taught the language of your own pleasure.”

That’s why it’s so important to normalise pleasure, especially during Women’s Month. It’s not just about orgasms. It’s about ownership.

Pleasure and Mental Health: Yes, They’re Connected

When we talk about wellness, we often mean green juices, skincare routines, and gym schedules. But here’s what’s missing from the mainstream conversation: pleasure is part of the wellness puzzle.

Self-Pleasure Supports:

• Stress Relief: Orgasms trigger the release of feel-good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, which help lower stress levels.
• Improved Sleep: Regular climax promotes deeper, more restful sleep.
• Body Confidence: Exploring what feels good helps you appreciate your body in new, empowering ways.
• Mood Boosting: Endorphins from pleasure elevate your mood, naturally.
• Connection to Self: Mindful pleasure deepens self-awareness, helping you tune into your needs and desires.

And guess what? This doesn’t require a partner. It doesn’t even require an orgasm. Simply carving out space for you, your body, your breath, your sensations, is deeply healing.

How Sex Toys Empower Women

Sex toys aren’t just “fun”, they’re tools of empowerment. Here’s how:

1. Education Through Exploration

Toys help you learn what you like. Whether it’s clitoral suction, internal vibration, or G-spot pressure, using toys can teach you more about your body than any textbook ever could.

2. Independence and Autonomy

Toys put your pleasure in your hands, literally. You don’t need to wait for the “right partner” or the “perfect moment.” You create your own experiences.

3. Confidence Boosting

Knowing what you enjoy (and how to communicate it) builds self-esteem inside and outside the bedroom.

4. Healing After Trauma

For many women, toys are part of reclaiming intimacy after sexual trauma or medical conditions like vaginismus, endometriosis, or menopause.

5. Enhancing Partnered Play

Exploring your desires solo can make you feel more confident and connected when sharing pleasure with a partner.

As Alexandra Roxo, embodiment coach and author, says:

“When you learn to listen to your body, it will teach you everything.”

Toys to Try: Your Empowerment Toolkit

Here’s a mini guide to some of our favourite women’s wellness toys, perfect for solo exploration or spicing up your Women’s Month self-care.

💗 Clitoral Vibes

Try: We-Vibe Touch X or Swan Palm Power Pocket
Perfect for: Direct, external stimulation. Great for beginners and anyone craving a powerful mood boost.

💦 Suction Toys

Try: Womanizer Starlet 3
Perfect for: Targeted clitoral pleasure with a gentle, pulsating sensation. Ideal for people who don’t like direct touch.

🌹 G-Spot Vibes

Try: We-Vibe Nova 2 
Perfect for: Internal pleasure seekers who want to explore their anatomy and build to deeper orgasms.

💫 Dual-Stimulation Toys

Try: Wonderlust Harmony
Perfect for: Blended orgasms through simultaneous clitoral and G-spot stimulation.

🌿 Mindful Wellness Picks

Try: Pjur Woman Nude Lubricant, massage candles, or satin blindfolds
Perfect for: Slowing down, adding ritual, and creating sensual space to reconnect with yourself.

How to Start Your Pleasure Journey (Without Shame)

Not sure where to begin? Here are some gentle steps:

🌸 1. Give Yourself Permission

You don’t need a reason to enjoy yourself. You’re allowed to seek joy, curiosity, and comfort, just because you want to.

✨ 2. Create a Ritual

Set the mood. Dim the lights. Play music. Use a massage oil or candle. Make it feel luxurious, not rushed.

💖 3. Start Slow

Begin with external stimulation or touch. Focus on breath and sensation rather than performance or climax.

🛁 4. Be Consistent

Make pleasure part of your routine, just like skincare or journaling. It’s a form of emotional hygiene.

This Women’s Month, Say Yes to More

Yes to your body.
Yes to your desires.
Yes to radical self-love.

This August, let’s rewrite what empowerment looks like. It’s not just boardrooms and breaking barriers. It’s also bubble baths, body oil, and a toy that makes you smile.

At Dear Desire, we believe pleasure is your birthright. You don’t need to earn it, justify it, or hide it. You just need to embrace it.

Final Thought: Pleasure Is Political

Celebrating women means celebrating the full spectrum of who we are, not just the parts that fit neatly into society’s expectations.

Owning your pleasure is about more than orgasms. It’s about taking up space. Feeling good. Reconnecting with your worth. Reclaiming joy in a world that often demands we dim our light.

So this Women’s Month, skip the daisies. Go for something that makes your whole body bloom.

You deserve it.

Explore Dear Desire’s Women’s Month Sale

All women’s toys are on sale this August, because empowerment should be accessible.
✨ Shop Now: discreetly delivered, beautifully curated.