Threesome tips for couples

Threesome tips for couples

Threesomes are not as taboo as they once were. What used to be something men fantasized about is now a more common form of sex and can be desired by not only men but woman too. A form of sexual expression and openness and if done right, can be extremely magical.

Threesomes require a lot of planning and communication. Here are some tips to help you decide if you are ready for this sexual journey.

 Communicate and be open

Communicating your sexual desires can be daunting but is totally necessary for all parties involved. Before communicating your fetishes with your partner, it is vital that you sift through these thoughts with yourself and make sure that living out your sexual fantasy is what you really want. Open communication between all parties ensures that everyone is on the same page, and no one is left in the dark. Who will be your third? Will the third have sex with both parties? Will the third spend the night? What do you want out of the threesome? What’s your safe word? All your uncomfortable questions should be answered before going into the threesome, ensure there are no unanswered questions.

Consider the reason for the threesome

If you have hit a rough patch in your monogamous relationship and are finding new ways to fix the issues, a threesome is not the answer. If you’re sick of having boring sex and are trying to find new ways to spice up your twosome, a threesome is not the answer. The only way to fix these issues is by perfecting and working on your twosome. A new sexual partner is not going to magically heal the unresolved intimacy issues in your partnered relationship. You need to address the route of these issues and resolve them before bringing in a third.

Make sure that you are having a threesome for yourself and not to please or impress your partner. It will just cause more issues and create jealousy within your relationship.

Finding your third

The third person in your threesome is going to play a crucial role in whether it is an enjoyable experience or not. So, you and your partner should decide together what type of third you’re looking for.

First off consider who the third will be.

Someone you know/ a friend.

There are pros and cons of inviting a third that you are both familiar with. Pro: you are already somewhat comfortable around them and would’ve built up some form of trust with them. Con: this could create major issues in your relationship and if it does not go the way all three intended it could taint the relationship and cause the relationship to end.

A stranger

You can meet strangers pretty easily online through dating apps or in person, out at a bar. The great thing about meeting a third in person is you have the opportunity to find out if the three of you have chemistry and physical attraction whereas online you do not have that same advantage. If you choose to find your third online, I suggest meeting in person before making your final decision to feel for chemistry and to see that they are who they say they are. (Beware of the catfish!)

Decide on whether your third will be a male or female?

Most people, especially men, when thinking about threesomes, there mind will immediately go to them with two other girls. Women fantasize about threesomes too and although girl on girl can be really exciting and sexy, they fantasize about threesomes with men too. I know a lot of men may not be comfortable with the idea of having a threesome with their partner and some dude. You really don’t even need to do anything to the third as long as you are both pleasing the woman this will be really satisfactory for her.

But if your partner asks this of you, and you are not comfortable with it, that’s totally okay. Don’t force it just to keep your partner happy. It will just make for an awkward, unpleasant threesome.

Set boundaries

Set boundaries between the three of you and create a safe word. That if at any point one of you are feeling uncomfortable and want to stop or take a break you all know when to stop. By creating boundaries, you will create a sense of comfortability and trust between you and a lack of these boundaries could create jealousy and insecurity and could result in one partner feeling left out.

You should consider discussing the involvement of sex toys, consent, who’s allowed to do what and if this is a one-time thing or a regular activity that you’ll be taking part in.  

Have a drink, but don’t get drunk

You may want to take a shot before a threesome to gain some liquid confidence and take the edge off, but I do not suggest getting drunk. Drinking too much will make it more difficult for penises to get erect and may cause vaginal dryness. Being drunk also means you will most likely be having sloppy sex and while sloppy sex can be fun, threesomes require a lot of attention and concentration. In this case, sloppy sex will just be messy and may ruin the threesome before it begins.

Safety

Sexual health should be discussed between all three before indulging in your threesome. If any of your partners have an STI or STD this should be discussed prior.

Using protection should be non-negotiable in this instance. Not only for vaginal penetration but for anal, dildos and any other forms of penetration. You may be tempted to swop between partners, but this is not wise as STI’s, and STD’s can easily be contracted.

If any toys are being shared, wash them between uses.

Make use of sex toys

Implementing sex toys into your threesome can add to the experience and alleviate the worry of one of the partners being left out. Sex toys can help keep all three partners engaged and heighten the sense of pleasure.

After the threesome

Once the third has left and its just you and your partner, make sure to tend to her/him and make them feel like they are your main priority. Talk about your experiences and how it was for each of you. Be genuine and honest with each other and decide whether you will be doing it again or not.

Threesomes should be fun, exciting, and pleasurable for all three parties. You may have the best sexual experience of your life, or it could completely suck, and you never want to do it again but if you’re in a strong healthy relationship and as long as communication is always clear and open you should be able to overcome the possible risks. But if not, you probably have a few things to work on before you’re ready to invite a third into your bed.