7 Myths About Sex Toys Every Beginner Should Stop Believing

Myths, Meet the Truth

Buying your first sex toy should feel exciting, empowering, and shame-free, but for many beginners, it’s surrounded by myths, stigma, and whispered half-truths.

Maybe you’ve thought…

“Aren’t toys only for people who know what they’re doing?”
“What if someone finds out?”
“Do I even need one if I have a partner?”

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. These myths are incredibly common, especially if you grew up in spaces where pleasure wasn’t openly talked about.

This October, as part of our Beginner’s Campaign, we’re here to clear the air and bust the 7 most common sex toy myths that hold beginners back. Because exploring your pleasure shouldn’t come with fear or shame - only curiosity, confidence, and choice.

Myth 1: “Toys are only for people who are already experienced.”

This is one of the biggest misconceptions. Many people believe that toys are something you graduate to once you already know everything about your body.

The truth? Toys are tools for exploration, and they’re especially helpful for beginners.

• Bullet vibrators and simple external toys are perfect for learning what you like.

• They can build body confidence and reduce anxiety about “doing things right.”

• Many people actually discover their preferences through toys, not before them.

Whether you’re a total beginner or just curious, toys can support your journey, not replace it.

Myth 2: “Buying a sex toy is embarrassing or shameful.”

This myth stems from outdated cultural attitudes, not reality. There’s nothing shameful about exploring your body or prioritising your pleasure.

Sexual wellness is self-care. Just like skincare or exercise, exploring pleasure is a natural part of understanding your body and well-being.

And unlike the old days, shopping for toys doesn’t mean stepping into a shady store. You can browse online from the comfort of your couch, learn at your own pace, and get discreet sex toy delivery anywhere in South Africa, no awkward moments required.

Pleasure is personal, not shameful.

Myth 3: “People will know if I buy a toy.”

Privacy is a huge concern for beginners and thankfully, modern retailers have made discretion a priority.

At Dear Desire, every order is:

• 📦 Shipped in plain, unbranded packaging (no logos or labels)

• 🤫 Delivered discreetly by trusted couriers

• 🛍️ Packaged with care, so no one but you knows what’s inside

Whether you live alone, with family, or in a shared space, your privacy is fully protected. You can shop confidently knowing your order is your secret.

No one needs to know, unless you want them to.

Myth 4: “Toys are only for single people.”

This myth is everywhere, and it’s 100% false. Toys can absolutely enhance solo play, but they’re also incredible tools for couples.

• They help couples communicate more openly about pleasure.

• They can bring new sensations and excitement into long-term relationships.

• They support intimacy, not replace it.

In fact, many couples say toys have helped them reconnect emotionally and physically, breaking routine and sparking curiosity again.

Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, toys belong wherever pleasure lives.

Myth 5: “Sex toys will replace my partner.”

This is a common worry, especially in relationships, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Toys aren’t competitors. They’re collaborators.

Think of toys like kitchen tools: a good blender doesn’t replace a chef, it just helps make something delicious faster and easier. 😉

Toys can:

• Help you learn what sensations you enjoy, which can make partnered intimacy more fulfilling.

• Take pressure off performance.

• Allow couples to explore new dynamics together.

A toy can’t give emotional intimacy, laughter, or connection, only you and your partner can.

Myth 6: “All toys are loud, obvious, or intimidating.”

Beginners often picture giant, noisy wands or over-the-top designs. The reality? Beginner toys are intentionally small, quiet, and discreet.

Bullet vibrators, for example:

• Fit in the palm of your hand

• Are whisper-quiet

• Look sleek and simple

• Are perfect for first-time exploration without drawing attention.

You can unpack your toy, explore it in your hand, get used to the settings, and ease into your experience without pressure.

Your first toy doesn’t need to be fancy, it needs to feel approachable.

Myth 7: “I need to know exactly what I like before buying a toy.”

Nope. In fact, many people use their first toy to discover what they like.

It’s okay to not have it all figured out. That’s why Beginner’s Essentials collections exist: to remove the guesswork.

Look for:

• Simple designs (like bullet vibrators)

• Body-safe materials (medical-grade silicone)

• Mid-range prices for good quality without overcommitting

• Trusted brands like Swan, Romp, and Lovense

Exploration is part of the fun, and your preferences may evolve over time.

You don’t need all the answers before you start. You just need curiosity.

Bonus: Myth 8 — “Returning a toy is impossible if something goes wrong.”

Many beginners hesitate because they’re unsure what happens if something is faulty.

At Dear Desire:

• All our toys come with manufacture warranties 

• We test and replace faulty items quickly with our suppliers.

• For hygiene reasons, we can’t accept opened items, but we help you choose carefully from the start.

Our clear, fair returns policy means you can shop with peace of mind.

Breaking the Myths = Unlocking Confidence

Myths thrive where there’s silence. Once you shine a light on them, you realise they’re nothing more than outdated stories.

Exploring your pleasure doesn’t make you “weird,” “shameful,” or “alone.” It makes you human - curious, powerful, and deserving of self-care on your own terms.

So, let’s recap:

• ✅ Toys are for beginners too.

• ✅ Pleasure isn’t shameful.

• ✅ Discreet delivery means no one has to know.

• ✅ Toys enhance intimacy, not replace it.

• ✅ Quiet, body-safe, beginner toys exist, and they’re wonderful.

• ✅ You don’t need to know everything to start.

Ready to Explore at Your Own Pace?

Your first step doesn’t have to be intimidating. Whether you’re curious, nervous, or excited, our Beginner’s Essentials Collection was curated to make your journey simple, safe, and stigma-free.

Shop the Beginner’s Essentials Collection and start exploring today, with confidence and complete discretion.