5 Common Fears About Buying Your First Toy, and Why You Don’t Need to Worry

1. “What if someone finds out?” The Fear of Lack of Discretion

This is probably the most common hesitation we hear. Many people worry that buying a toy means sacrificing their privacy.

The truth? Modern adult retailers take discretion seriously, and at Dear Desire, it’s a cornerstone of our service.

🧾 Discreet Packaging

Every order is shipped in plain, unbranded packaging. There are no logos, no revealing labels, and no one (not your neighbour, courier, or family member) will know what’s inside.

📦 Discreet Delivery Across South Africa

We offer nationwide discreet delivery, whether you’re in Cape Town, Durban, Johannesburg, or a smaller town. Our courier partners understand the importance of privacy, ensuring your parcel arrives securely and quietly.

🛒 Confidential Online Shopping

Shopping online gives you the freedom to browse, compare, and read reviews in total privacy, no awkward in-store moments, no unnecessary questions.

Bottom line: Your privacy is fully protected. Buying a toy doesn’t have to mean anyone else knows about it.

2. “What if I’m judged?” The Fear of Stigma

Unfortunately, even in 2025, stigma around sexual wellness still exists. Many beginners worry that buying a toy makes them “weird,” “naughty,” or that others will judge them if they find out.

Here’s the thing: pleasure is a natural part of human life. Whether you’re single, in a relationship, exploring, or healing, toys can play a positive role in your wellness journey.

🌿 You’re Not Alone

Every day, people across South Africa, from university students to professionals, parents to retirees, are buying toys to explore their desires, boost intimacy, or simply experience new sensations.

💬 Sexual Wellness Is Self-Care

Using toys isn’t about being “taboo.” It’s about self-knowledge, confidence, and pleasure on your own terms. Just as skincare and fitness are part of wellbeing, sexual wellness deserves the same open, stigma-free conversation.

At Dear Desire, we speak openly, warmly, and without judgment. This is a safe space to explore, whether it’s your first toy or your fiftieth.

Bottom line: There’s no shame in prioritising your pleasure. In fact, it’s empowering.

3. “I don’t know what to choose” The Fear of Confusion

The sex toy market has exploded in recent years, and for beginners, it can feel overwhelming. Bullet vibrator? Wand? Air-pulse? App-controlled?

The good news is: you don’t need to know everything before you start.

✨ Start Simple

You don’t need a complicated, high-tech toy for your first experience. In fact, most beginners find that small bullet vibrators or simple external toys are perfect starting points. They’re non-intimidating, easy to control, and help you learn what feels good at your own pace.

📚 Beginner Guides & Expert Picks

Our Beginner’s Essentials Collection was hand-selected to remove the guesswork. Each toy in the range is:

• ✅ Body-safe

• ✅ Beginner-friendly

• ✅ Discreet & easy to store

• ✅ Trusted by other first-time buyers

You’ll also find FAQs and blog posts (like this one!) to guide you through every step.

Bottom line: You don’t need to know it all. Start small, explore, and trust that your journey will unfold naturally.

4. “What if it’s awkward or intimidating?” The Fear of the Unknown

It’s natural to feel a bit nervous about your first toy. After all, it’s something new, and with new things often comes uncertainty.

Here’s what we want you to remember: you’re in complete control.

🌸 Go at Your Own Pace

There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to use a toy. You can unpack it, hold it, turn it on, explore the settings, and get comfortable before you even use it.

🧠 Exploration Over Perfection

Many beginners worry they’ll “do it wrong.” There’s no wrong. This is about curiosity, not performance. Think of it as learning what skincare works for your skin, just in a different part of your wellness routine.

🙌 Designed to Be Friendly

Beginner toys are intentionally designed to be soft, ergonomic, quiet, and easy to use. They’re built for gentle discovery, not intimidation.

Bottom line: Feeling unsure at first is normal. But once you realise you’re in control, the nerves quickly turn into excitement.

5. “What if I want to return it?” The Fear of Getting Stuck

Many beginners hesitate because they’re not sure about returns. What if the toy doesn’t work for them? What if it’s defective?

At Dear Desire, we’ve made sure our return policy is clear and fair, while prioritising hygiene and safety.

📝 7-Day Return Policy (Defective Items)

If your toy arrives damaged or faulty, you can return it within 7 days. We’ll work directly with our suppliers to test and replace the item quickly.

🚫 Why Opened Toys Can’t Be Returned

For hygiene reasons, once a product’s seal has been opened, it can’t be resold, which is why we don’t accept change-of-mind returns. This protects both you and future customers.

💡 How to Feel Confident Before Buying

To help you make the right choice from the start:

• Read the product description carefully

• Check beginner tags & recommendations

• Reach out to our team if you need advice, we’re here to help, judgment-free.

Bottom line: You’re not stuck. If something’s faulty, we’ll help. And if you choose carefully, your first toy can be a long-lasting part of your self-care routine.

Why These Fears Are Normal, But Not Necessary

Every beginner has these thoughts at some point, you’re not alone. But once you push past them, you’ll realise that buying your first toy doesn’t have to be awkward, risky, or intimidating.

It can be exciting. Empowering. And even fun.

At Dear Desire, we’ve created a space where you can shop with confidence, knowing your privacy is respected and your questions are welcome.

Your Journey Starts Here

Buying your first toy is a personal step, but it doesn’t have to be a scary one. Whether your biggest concern is discretion, judgment, confusion, intimidation, or returns, we’re here to support you every step of the way.

Our Beginner’s Essentials range was created to help you explore without pressure. Shop the collection